Debris
by BlueMary J. Royard
Summary: Dan is too broken for the world Adrian has created. Or maybe he just needs the possibility of facing his former friend one last time. Post canon, slash.
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: Mild dubious consent in the third chapter. Also, a little violence.

**Chapter 1: Sam Hollis**

The route from his home to the café is unusual lengthy and fatiguing, while he's trying to walk without limping.

His back hurts at every movement – because kevlar protects you from almost everything, but being hit with an iron bar hurts all the same – his arms are sore and the last patrol, the night before, left him with bruises on all of his body. However, it's his left leg which bothers him the most, since one of the criminals he fought managed to stab him just above his knee. As soon as he returned home, he had to stitch the wound and now he feels like all his leg is burning.

Maybe he wouldn't hurt so much if it were someone else who cured him: even with his experience of crime fighting, it's always easier to cure a partner than yourself, especially when you only have a mild painkiller and fingers too tired to be steady. But there wasn't anyone that could help him at home, last night. There hasn't been anyone for months, by now.

Laurie has stayed by his side for a little more than two months. It was a nice illusion of comfort and warmth, but they both knew it wouldn't have lasted. Every second of their relationship seemed to be based on someone's absence: the absence of Rorschach, who occupied his thoughts in a maybe too deeply way than what one would expect for a fallen friend; the absence of Jon, who Laurie mourned in a painful silence. And the absence of a justice he had really believed to, before Adrian's utopia became reality, killing millions to build peace and showing him that even lies and massacres could be used to create something good.

The secret behind the peace crushed both him and Laurie, stealing away all of their dreams and illusions, and corrupting even the little comfort they found in laying naked and pressed together, when the tried to forget everything with the fleeting pleasure of intimacy.

But their two solitudes didn't vanish when they were together. They were both too broken, they had lost too much to manage to build something anew. They almost drowned together in their mutual sorrow and regrets, hating the fact that they couldn't raise again even supporting themselves on each other. And then Laurie left.

Dan didn't truly try to make her stay, he knew too well he couldn't find in her the comfort he needed. And now it has been several months since when he began living alone again in a house too big and too silent for just one person.

Two weeks after their breakup, he went to patrol like he had used to years before. But just like Dan didn't feel complete living alone, Nite Owl isn't complete either and without Rorschach he feels he has been mutilated. He has kept on patrolling anyway, night after night, bruise after bruise, because crime fighting is the only thing that makes him feel alive.

He doesn't try to be a hero anymore, because he learned his lesson too well. After he saw his ideals shattering in front of his eyes, he doesn't aim to a childish dream of justice anymore. He just wants to make someone's life better and to occupy the time he otherwise would spend restless, so he fights against criminals and pushers and all the violent people that make the streets a place to be afraid of.

He saw Laurie, one night. Laurie who wasn't Laurie but Silk Specter, while he wasn't Dan but Nite Owl. They stared at each other without talking for what felt like an eternity. At his feet, there were five pushers. At hers, four of them, the rest of the gang. Seeing her again so suddenly and unexpectedly hit him with a nostalgia so intense he almost faltered. It lasted one second, before his mind took over with a cold rationality he hadn't possess before Karnak.

He and Laurie weren't made to be together. They had tried it once and it hadn't gone well. They exchanged a nod, before vanishing in opposite directions.

They didn't meet anymore and the fact strangely doesn't bother him how it would have done if he had been his old self.

_Dan. Grow up._

And he did, in his own way. He left behind all his illusions and his heroic aspirations to accept the pain of a perpetual regret. He lives drawn to a past when things were easier, when he still had his naivety as a shield, had a partner, had a purpose and no horrifying secrets to keep. But he knows he can't turn back time, nor can he take back the innocence that has been peeled away from him like an additional layer of skin.

And now the present is something blurred and meaningless and he isn't sure he can care about a future.

The wound on his leg is pulsating painfully when he arrives to his usual café.

He doesn't look around; he just reaches the little table in the most secluded side of the place, the one he occupies almost every morning. When the waitress smiles at him, he greets her with a nod, knowing that he doesn't even have to order, since he's having breakfast there for months, now. Then he lets his gaze wander around, looking at the people in the café without truly see them.

Not for the first time, he wonders if this is how Rorschach lived. His world was broken and he wasn't able to build another one. Now he feels like a stranger in a new world where he doesn't belong.

Everything he knew is dead or gone. The Crimebusters don't exist anymore, Rorschach is a red blot in the snow. Hollis was killed by a gang he couldn't even personally punish. Laurie fled away with her sorrow. And he doesn't have anyone anymore.

There was _him_ too, once, among the few people he considered friends. But he doesn't want to think about _him_. It's not easy when he is surrounded by the consequences of _his_ actions, when _his_ utopia infests televisions, newspapers and the whole city even more than it infests his own nightmares. But after some time, he learned to turn his back to everything concerning Karnak and the tragedy that erased from the map the most important city in Earth: he doesn't watch the television anymore, he doesn't buy newspapers, he doesn't listen to the conversations of the people around him. He just concerns himself with everything regarding crimes and owls.

Sometimes he feels like a mere shadow who stands on the brink of reality without really being part of it.

His thoughts are interrupted by the waitress, who serves him a cup of coffee and a muffin, his usual breakfast. It's one of the little advantages of being a regular customer: he doesn't have to order and the waitresses leave him alone without attempting a conversation or asking him if he wants something else – and he appreciates all of it, even if, inside of his head, he can hear a voice similar to Rorschach's scolding him: _never be predictable, Daniel. Not safe_.

He automatically thanks the waitress and begins eating.

_I don't have to be careful here, Rorschach. It's just a muffin._

He smiles bitterly, when a wound that never heals begins burning again in his chest.

Some days Rorschach's loss still hurts like a punch to the stomach, maybe because he thinks he could have saved him. Or maybe because he thinks he should have chosen the same fate for himself.

He breathes deeply, trying to ease the pain. And it's exactly in this moment that an external voice reaches his mind, shattering his thoughts. He tenses suddenly, like he were patrolling the street instead of sitting quietly in a normal café. But he can already taste blood in his mouth, his hands have already started shaking and his eyes are wandering around, looking for the owner of that pleasant, persuasive voice that was the protagonist in his worst nightmares.

He knows that voice.

And when his gaze focuses on a small group of men sat at a large table near the counter, he suddenly can't breathe anymore.

He knows that ageless profile, the blond and perfectly combed hair, the light smile typical of who has always the situation under his control but is too polite to display it.

_He is there_.

Cold sweat is drenching his shirt on his back, his skin is burning and he feels more helpless than he was in Karnak, when he was defeated without even landing a hit.

_Adrian Veidt is there._

* * *

He walks out of the restroom only when he can breathe normally again. He's still sweating and he still feels he's going to puke at every inspiration, but at least he doesn't tremble anymore. Even if his face is burning hot, the Nite Owl in him keeps his step calm and controlled.

He still can't understand if he wants to assault his former friend or to ask him how it felt to have killed millions of people. He does nothing, just reaches his table and sits down. He knows too well he's no match for Ozymandias and he doubts he can feel guilt, regret. Maybe Adrian Veidt can't feel anything at all, and that wouldn't surprise him.

The minutes spent in the restroom helped him to regain his composure and now he can breathe properly again. He just needed an isolate place where he could hide and regain control, where he could accept that in the café there was the man who had taken everything away from him and at the same time seemed to have saved the world.

_And he knows that Adrian saw him, because before he stood up to flee to the restroom, the billionaire had met his distracted gaze without any emotions, without surprise, like he already knew that Dan would be in that café._

Since there's no reasons to avoid looking around, he lets his gaze wander where the counter is. He is as tense as an arrow, ready to meet Adrian's emotionless eyes again, but through his cloudy glasses he stares at an empty table: Adrian has left.

He deflated in his chair, feeling empty and unexpectedly disappointed. Together with the relief of not having to face him, there's also a strange regret, since now he can't attack him anymore, can't even show him his hatred and his contempt.

When he looks down at his own table, however, he tenses again: there's a folded napkin next to the half muffin he didn't have the time to finish. He opens it while is heart is hammering in his chest.

There are three words written elegantly in it. An hotel's name, a room number. Nothing more.

And when Dan understands, he almost feels again that painful cold that there was in Karnak.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: I really want to thank sm4567 and Ginafisch for their lovely comments. Thank you so much! Here it's the second chapter. It's still unbetaed, I hope there aren't too many errors._

* * *

**Chapter 2: Daniel Dreiberg**

He chose the evening for the childish reason that during the dark he feels like more Nite Owl and less like Daniel Dreiberg. During the night he's stronger. More determined. He can kill more easily.

He doesn't really know why he chose to accept his former friend's invitation. But there's something pending between them, since Adrian has returned to be a protagonist of the political an social life of the United States, instead of remaining exiled in Karnak, where Dan could have forgotten him. Besides, Dan is tired of fleeing from his inner demons.

He is in a civil attire but he can still walk silently like he had his costume. The woman at the reception doesn't notice him when Dan takes advantage of the phone ringing to reach the stairs unseen. Even if he isn't sure he can kill Adrian – even if he isn't sure he _wants_ to kill him – he doesn't want the billionaire to be foreshadowed of his arrival.

He touches the hidden pocket in his jacket, where he can feel the comforting weight of a knife. It's foolish to face Ozymandias with such a laughable weapon, he knows it. But the knife makes him less anxious so he allows himself to be lulled in an illusion of boldness.

It's when he reaches Adrian's door, with the wounded leg that hurt at every step, that his mind voices a doubt which is half hope: maybe Adrian has already left. Maybe Adrian waited for him in the afternoon. Maybe his invitation was just a joke, a jest made by the bastard who managed to manipulate even Manhattan. But the door is half open, in what seems both an invitation and a trap.

Dan touches the knife again, then he takes a deep breath and enters the room.

Adrian is waiting for him sitting elegantly on the couch. In his hand, he has a glass of wine and his eyes don't betray any surprise while they met Dan's figure.

"Dan" Adian greets him, standing with a gracious movement.

He wears one of his purple suits and manages to be classy and aristocratic without looking unplaced even in a hotel's room, where normal people would wear just a robe. Dan has never met anyone who could wear clothes with this color in such a natural way but he also has to admit that he has never met anyone who could be Adrian Veidt's pair.

Adrian reaches him with another glass of wine, smiling politely at him like they were still friends.

Dan doesn't move, nor does he smile in return. He says nothing – _and what could he say to the man he thought a friend and that now, for him, is just the murderer of fifteen billions of people?_

He just closes the door behind his back without lowering his gaze.

Adrian stops in front of him, his welcome smile vanished in a cordial, calm expression.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" he asks him, handing him the glass.

He is polite, courteous and charming. The perfect host.

Dan shakes his head. He has too many thoughts infesting his mind, his chest is oppressed by an uneasiness he doesn't completely understand and even now he can't be certain of his own emotions.

They stare at each other without talking, in a silence in which Dan's discomfort grows at every second. He knows he can't compare to the smartest man of the world. He knew it before Karnak, when he still considered Adrian a friend. And now, he is aware even more of his own inferiority. He just feels small. Too shy, too awkward, too clumsy and useless and helpless in front of Ozymandias.

For a moment, he wonders how Adrian sees him. He's not flabby anymore, now that he patrols the streets again but he knows he'll never be able to obtain the flexuose, athletic body Adrian possesses. The nights spent patrolling the city, without a partner to guard his back, have made him tougher, more ruthless.

And this is not his only change. He smiles less often, now. He shows more than his age, maybe because of the bitterness which is always on his lineaments. And from the last time he looked at himself in the mirror, he knows his face belongs to a person who has been defeated. The worries, the lies, the pain related to the losses of the last year have hardened his expression and have left their traces on his face.

It's with a glimpse of dark satisfaction that he notices that even Adrian has changed. Even the great Ozymandias has been affected by what happened in Karnak. He is still beautiful, in a way which is not related to his gender; but there are little wrinkles around his eyes and his gaze is more emotionless than has ever been.

It's this discovery that makes Dan want to abandon the silence.

"Why, Adrian?"

The billionaire's lips hint a smile.

"I would have found childish to ignore our accidental meeting in the cafè. It was our chance to have a talk after all this time. Why should I have refused this opportunity?"

Adrian sounds so calm, so rational, so _normal_, that Dan wants to scream.

"What makes you think I'd want to talk to you?"

Adrian smiles again, this time like he were speaking with a child.

"You've come."

Dan feels the sudden urge to wipe that smile off the billionaire's face with his fists. He doesn't move for two reasons: Adrian is faster than him, while he has a wounded leg. And he knows that nothing he could do or say would change what happened in Karnak.

He can hate Adrian, he can refuse to forgive him for that massacre. But the world still exists, Ozymandias' utopia of peace still holds on, and Dan isn't sure he would really stop Adrian if he could go back in time. He isn't like Rorschach. Even though he feels a pang of disgust admitting it, he can compromise.

"So, are you satisfied? Are you enjoying your peace born from fifteen millions of corpses?" He can feel the disgust in his own voice. A repulsion Dan knows it's both for Adrian and for himself "Was it worth it?"

Adrian looks at him without even falter.

"I'm not going to apologize for what I've done, Dan." he says with his usual calm voice and for a moment, Dan wonders if maybe Adrian's refusal to apologize isn't caused by his pride or his conviction to be right. Maybe Adrian just can't think of having been wrong because he couldn't accept the fact that he killed millions of people because of his mistake.

Dan forces himself to smile, ignoring the rage that hurts his chest and almost suffocates him. And it's a bitter smile, like it was born from all the tears that he didn't spill in Karnak.

"As I could expect it from you. No, apologizing would make you too human. And you're not."

This time, Adrian's cordial expression completely disappears, replaced by an impassible face. Just when Dan is certain he has to prepare for a punch, Adrian shakes his head.

"I thought that after all these days you would be able to understand." he says Dan, with the same voice he used in Karnak, making hum feel like a guilty, stubborn child who is been scolded by a too patient adult "I thought you would have grown up."

Dan moves before even thinking. When they were in Karnak, he had been weak, helpless. But now he is not so. Not after all the guilt, the hatred, the despair he has been feeling for the last months. He slams Adrian against the wall, holding him by the collar of his shirt while a part of his mind wonders why the billionaire doesn't react and just stares at him with impassible eyes.

"Is that what growing up means for you? It's to say you were right, it's to agree with a mass murderer?"

"It is to accept the only way which could lead to peace."

Dan slams him again, but even when the blond head bangs with a low tud against the wall, Adrian's collected expression doesn't falter. And Dan hates him even more.

"You couldn't be sure! You didn't have the right to take that decision."

_If only Adrian showed him a glimpse of sorrow or of regret..._

In the blink of an eye, Adrian inverts their positions, trapping him against the wall with his hands on Dan's shoulder.

"I was the _only_ _one_ who could take it." he says, with his usual calm voice but there is an edgy note in his words "And I did, Dan. I did it because there would have been no humanity left, otherwise."

Dan tries in vain to free himself; the billionaire's grip is too strong.

"What do you expect from me? Do you want my praise? Do you want my forgiveness?" When he takes a breath, the air seems to burn his lungs, like he inhaled the smoke of one of the Comedian's cigars "Do you think it's easy to forget what happened in Karnak? Maybe for you it's been nothing, but I remember that massacre, I saw the debris, the annihilated city, and I'm haunted by it every single day."

By now, Dan doesn't even try to remain calm. He struggles again but in spite of his slim body, Adrian is too strong.

He sees the billionaire coming closer until he can feels Adrian's breathing against his cheek. It's slow and regular, while Dan is wheezing. He feels a shiver when he realizes he is completely helpless in Adrian's hands.

The billionaire almost brushes his forehead with his own.

"Dan, don't lie to yourself. The millions of deaths, the destroyed capitals... You were horrified, you were conscientiously shocked. But you could overcome this." Dan tenses while listening to him, feeling like the prey which is being hypnotized by a predator "It's not because of the faceless people I had to sacrifice for peace. It's because of Rorschach that you can't forgive me." Adrian's voice becomes gentler, almost soft "And that you can't forgive yourself."

Dan freezes in his spot.

He can't breathe and without the wall he wouldn't be able to stand, because now everything he repressed and didn't truly understand is invading his mind.

_When only Nite Owl and Rorschach existed and it was the most wonderful thing in his life. When every night was an exciting adventure and their bodies carried life long secrets in the scars on their skin. The nostalgia of the years spent apart, when they went separate ways. The unexpected warmth when he had his former partner back. The pain, so bright, intense, unbearable, when he witnessed Rorschach's death. A pain that never faded, not even when he was with Laurie, with her body against his own, a body too soft, which was nothing like the hard, reassuring body of his former partner..._

"Let go of me!"

He staggers like he was drunk, while his breathing becomes erratic and the heart is hammering in his chest. The hands that were holding him still are gone so he moves away from the wall, feeling more defeated than that day in Karnak, when Adrian showed him he was able to defeat him and Rorschach both. He can't even lift his gaze from the floor.

Adrian has understood what Dan himself couldn't admit. He faced Ozymandias again, and again Ozymandias defeated him, like a god would do to a puny mortal.

And now, Dan has nothing. Not even the foolish pride which made him believe he could end this meeting as the winner.

Adrian's right hand leans upon his shoulder while he's still trying to slow down his breathing.

"Dan."

He pushes his hand away with a rough shove, without stopping trembling.

"Aren't you satisfied, yet?" His rage makes him meet Adrian's gaze again. He doesn't care to show the billionaire his desperation if he can convey also his contempt "I guess you're used to see people suffer, by now. It must be your favorite pastime."

For a moment, Adrian's expression hardens, before becoming the emotionless mask again.

"I didn't want to meet you to see your suffering, Dan."

He steps back, reaching for something in the small bookcase behind the couch.

When he returns closer to Dan, he has an old, brown book with him. And Dan suddenly can't breathe anymore, because he knows that that is not a book, that is a journal. And he knows that journal better than anyone else in the world.

With the throat so constricted he cannot speak, he lifts his gaze to meet Adrian's impassible eyes, while the billionaire hands him over the journal.

"I wanted to give you this."


	3. Chapter 3

_Here it is the last chapter of this short fic. It was a difficult chapter to translate to English so I apologize for the errors and I hope it won't be too bad or too confusing._  
_Thank you so much for your comments, I really appreciate them!_

_Warnings:__ Sort of dub-con in this chapter. Also, some violence_

* * *

**Chapter 3: Nite Owl**

He can't even think when he reaches for the timeworn journal but confusion is a good emotion since he allows him not to think about Rorschach and about what his mysterious friend has meant for him.

"How can you have it?" he asks Adrian, with a trembling voice. There is more disbelief than anger in his words.

The journal is dirty and it's strange since Rorschach never allowed him to touch it in the past, but Dan feels like it's the first familiar thing he has touched in months. It's almost like now he is touching Rorschach, while skimming through the pages. He touches the front page one last time, before lifting his gaze on Adrian.

"It seems like I underestimated him." the billionaire says, with a strange glimpse in his eyes "Before you arrived to Karnak to face me, Rorschach had mailed his journal with all your deductions about me to the New Frontiersmann. A worthy and fitting swan song, I have to say."

Dan hears the billionaire's words with a glimpse of satisfaction. It's an emotion that takes him back to a time when the blood on his protective gloves represented his pride, when the shy and awkward Daniel Dreiberg became Nite Owl and the unconscious criminals were the testament of his try to make the world a better place. Even if it's nonsensical, even if Rorschach's last attempt to reveal the truth could have compromised peace, he can't help to feel better knowing that even the smartest man in the world can be taken by surprise.

"And what happened then?"

Adrian tilts his head, like he were observing a disappointing experiment.

"I've got his diary, Jon is still considered a global threat. Was your question really necessary?"

Adrian's voice is patronizing and it hurts Dan, making him again feel like a boy who is anxious to gain other people's approval.

Adrian Veidt is rich, has got power, has got everything he needs to hushes this thing up. Dan doesn't really need to ask that.

"So you erased what was left of him." he murmurs, more to himself than to Adrian. He puts the journal inside his jacket, staring at the billionaire like he fears Adrian wants to stole it from him. "Why are you giving it to me?"

The billionaire smiles briefly.

"I don't think you so fool to try to divulge it."

"That's not what I've asked."

This time, Adrian remains silent for a few seconds.

"You were his only friend." the billionaire finally says "I've already read it and I figured you would like to have it."

Dan doesn't reply. What was left of his partner is this journal. He could find what Rorschach didn't reveal in years of partnership, in it. And the one who gave it to him, the one who has been the first person to read it, is the man who indirectly killed him.

He is still trying to understand what he feels about this when Adrian, with an unnoticed step, presses his lips against Dan's. He freezes, shocked, while Adrian begins to kiss him gently and without trying to force an answer. It's just one second: Dan's breath stops, he has the sudden urge to flee, to fight and to accept the kiss at the same time, while he is feeling so helpless in front of Ozymandias that a part inside of him is screaming in anger and in fear. Then, the second passes and he can breathe and move again so he shoves Adrian away.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Adrian faces his anger and his confusion with the usual emotionless expression.

"I thought you needed it."

And yes, a part of him needs it because Adrian's lips on his own has reminded him of a warm sensation, of human contact. _You're not alone anymore_, those lips seems to say while they gently brushes against Dan's. And it has been so long since his last kiss that now he yearns for some intimacy. For something to take him away from his solitude.

He punches Adrian, faster than his own thoughts, to suffocate that vulnerable, weak part of him that longs for Adrian's warmth.

"I don't need anything from you!"

He feels again the anger that the discover of Rorschach's journal dissipated.

He doesn't have his costume but Nite Owl is inside him. It's the strongest, most determined part of his person. If Nite Owl was the one who failed, it's true he is also the only one who can fight. And now he needs his alter ego to face Veidt, Veidt's words, the emotions that have arisen in their meeting.

He hits the billionaire again and again and it's so good to have someone to blame while he feels so hurt and guilty and desperate.

Then he grabs the billionaire's throat, feeling the need to squeeze it until it breaks. And then, he freezes. Adrian is staring at him with a tired gaze that shows no emotion nor pain, even if he's bleeding from his lips and nose.

"Dan, I thought we already covered this."

For a moment, they are still in Karnak: Rorschach is just dead, Dan can taste unshed tears in his mouth, for his fallen friend and for his own failure, and he can't do anything but hit Adrian, waiting for a reaction that would make everything fair and satisfying, that would erase the feeling of hitting someone who isn't even trying to defend himself...

He lets Adrian go, panting.

He would have killed him if his memories hadn't stop him. And Adrian maybe would have let him.

He begins to tremble. It's not him this violent, angered man who is ready to kill. He doesn't want to be that man.

"What do you want from me?".

And he can hear the desperation in his voice but he can't help it. He's been pushed too far to regain his control.

As a response, Adrian's lips search him again.

Adrian is not kissing, nor is he biting, he just continues slowly brushing his closed lips against Dan's neck and Dan's cheek before returning on his mouth. And all Dan can feels is the billionaire's warm breath and soft lips, a gentle contact which makes him shiver.

After months of fights and punches, kicks and violence, Adrian's gentleness wakes a part of him he had forgotten. And he can't move, he can't accept his touch but he can't refuse it either.

Adrian's mouth is in his neck again but this time the billionaire licks it from the chin to the shoulder and Dan has to fight to suppress an instinctive moan.

"Why don't you let go, Dan?" Adrian says softly.

And for a moment, all he feels is Adrian: a body too close to his own, a gentle touch, a warm breath, a hand that caresses his chest, going down, to the abdomen. It takes a great effort for him to not surrender to this contact.

"Is it another one of your plans? A new way to manipulate me?" Dan asks with a bitter voice, despite not having the resolution to shove him away.

Without answering, Adrian strokes his hair, lingering on the longest curls to brush his cheek. It's just a fleeting moment but he can see in the billionaire's face the warm expression Adrian used to show him before Karnak, when he thought they were friend. Once, that expression made him feel special, in a childish way.

Then, Adrian leans his perfectly shaved cheek against Dan's.

"I have no interest in manipulating you."

Now Adrian's hugging him but there's no threat in this contact nor does Dan feel trapped. He hears the billionaire sighing and it's a sound so wrong coming from Ozymandias' lips that Dan can't help to tense and to search for his gaze, seeing if he has just imagined his regret. But Adrian leans on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against Dan's neck, and he continues hugging him without any aggression.

"It would be so much easier if you wanted to understand." he murmurs, with his hot breath on Dan's skin and his lips brushing Dan's jaw, making him shiver.

"You told me you didn't need my forgiveness."

For one moment, the hug tightens before Adrian lets him go. Dan doesn't even try to react. He's tired, tired of everything. He doesn't have the strength to fight anymore. He just closes his eyes, remaining still against Adrian's body, accepting whatever the billionaire wants to do to him.

Adrian's lips reach his ear, brushing it.

"Forgiveness is not what I'm looking for."

Deft fingers begin unbuttoning Dan's jacket, touching lightly the hidden pocket where the knife is. For a moment, Dan almost hopes Adrian finds it so that this wrong intimacy will stop and they'll return to a simpler situation, where they are enemies and not two bodies pressed together, Adrian's mouth on Dan's face, their breaths interlocking.

But the billionaire's hand leaves the hidden pocket without Adrian speaking a word and Dan is still too confused and defeated to react.

When Adrian pushes him gently towards the hallway, he lets him, reaching an ample, anonymous bedroom. His dizzy mind notices just some details – _purple blankets, a purple rug, a huge mirror because the great Ozymandias has to honor his own person even in a simple hotel room._

Dan finds himself next to the bed with his head still full of the bitter irony of this consideration.

Adrian is already too close but he isn't able to object when the billionaire begins undressing him.

His jacket ends accurately folded on a chair, then his shirt follows. When he feels Adrian's hands on his pants he tenses, closing his eyes but allowing him to violate even this barrier. In Karnak and during the last minutes, Adrian has already seen him more naked than he ever been. Adrian has already took away his ideals, his rage, his desire of revenge from him. It will be painless to lose his clothes too, after that.

It takes a moment for the billionaire to take off his pants and boxer. Then, after a light push, Dan finds himself sitting on the bed, completely naked. He feels so exposed he can barely breathe but he still can't move, nor can he push Adrian back or refuse the warm and gentle touch of his mouth. He still has his eyes closed, his only defense against Ozymandias and his own sick emotions.

He feels Adrian falling silently on his knees while his lips brush his chest and then go even lower. It's not before they reach his groin that Dan realizes he is aroused. He stifles a moan, but the billionaire's mouth on his erection makes him shudder, giving him a wave of sick pleasure.

Fighting against the urge to reach for Adrian's blond hair, he claws the blanket, biting into his cheek to not make a sound. He should hit Adrian to erase all the sickness which has been tormenting him for the last months and even now. But his warm mouth is bringing him in a place where he doesn't need to think, where morality is a meaningless word.

He whimpers and even himself doesn't know if it's because of pleasure or because of the desperation to have been defeated again.

And then, he doesn't think anymore, he just feels Adrian's lips, his almost too hot mouth enveloping all of his throbbing erection until the billionaire's breath brushes against his belly – and it's in a glimpse of evil irony that he wonders how many times the great Ozymandias has been on his knees to become this good.

He can't stifle his moans anymore and he barely realizes he has his hand on Adrian's hair to make him move faster. He is close, so close he can't even think, he doesn't even feel shame. He's almost reached his climax when Adrian pulls away.

He opens his eyes and meeting the billionaire's controlled gaze, he becomes suddenly aware of his shameful desire and of his inability of refraining himself.

He stills, without knowing what to say. He can't even avert his eyes.

With a fluid movement, Adrian straddles him, pressing his erection against Dan's tight. He's still completely clothed and composed, though, and Dan feels even more sick noticing this.

He holds his breath, trying not to press himself against the billionaire's body. He just wants to slide away, to lost consciousness, to find a relief for this shameful arousal – he shouldn't want an assassin, the man who killed millions of people.

The guilt is overwhelming, voiced by two familiar voices in his head, Rorschach's rough tone and the gentler tone of Laurie – _Shameful, Daniel. Corrupted, weak, filthy. Dan, is it so easy to replace me? Did you just need a mouth, even if it belonged to the monster who almost destroyed us?_

While he's desperately trying to send his mind away from this reality, Adrian leans his head forward until he almost brushes Dan's forehead with his own, his eyes searching for Dan's with a glimpse of concern.

"Dan?"

And Dan really hates him, now, because with his voice he has destroyed his try to detach himself from this reality.

It's Nite Owl the one who arises from his soul, filling his mind with the hatred he has been carrying inside himself since Karnak. He attacks Adrian with his mouth and teeth, kissing him roughly, hurting him, biting him where his knuckles already wounded him.

He doesn't care how softly Adrian is kissing him back, he continues biting him until all he can taste is blood in his mouth, as a testament that even him is made of flesh and blood. Even the great Ozymandias can bleed, can suffer, can be hurt and this knowledge consoles him and gives him a dark pleasure. Adrian lets out a low, pained whimper and the inner, darkest part of Nite Owl exults and revels in that sound, biting him again while he tears at his clothes.

It isn't a moment of weakness anymore. Now it's a punishment against the man who destroyed millions of lives, including Dan's. Now, he has someone else to blame so he doesn't have to blame himself anymore.

When Adrian is finally naked under him, Dan realizes he hasn't even tried to react. The billionaire just remains on his back, staring at him with a too soft gaze and caressing his arms, his shoulders, his face with a gentleness that heats the anger in Dan's chest.

He bites Adrian again, until he draws blood, before grabbing his wrists to trapped them above the blond's head.

There's something extremely unnatural in having Ozymandias so defenseless and submitted to his mercy. And again, that dark part of him can't help to feel a shiver of sick pleasure at the thought he's controlling the most powerful man on the Earth.

He position himself between his legs, panting for the anger, the tension, the hatred.

He has never done it with a man before, nor has he with one of the few women he has had sex with. He just knows he should use a lubricant and move slowly and gently so that it doesn't hurt. _But he wants to hurt him_.

He enters him roughly in one thrust, feeling exhilarated for finally getting his revenge and nauseated at the same time. He's horrified for what he is doing, so he closes his eyes, but he can't stop himself and remembering Karnak, there's a part of his mind that is convicted that Adrian deserves it, that he deserves to suffer.

He begins to move without letting him get used to the intrusion, while the sickness in his gut intensifies and he wants to puke.

Then, Adrian softly whimpers, making him opens his eyes again.

The billionaire has his gaze still focused on him, in his eyes Dan can find pain but also softness and he knows that, if Adrian wanted, he would have freed himself.

_He wanted it._

Dan doesn't know if because of a belated atonement or because of an unexpected masochism. Or maybe Adrian just wanted to offer him an occasion to avenge himself as a gift.

He stops, his body trembling with the effort to contain all of the violent emotions which are fighting in his chest.

He wants to forgive Adrian and to forget what he has done so that they could be friend again. He also wants to hate him and to treat him with the contempt Adrian deserves. But he can't do neither.

He focuses on his face, recognizing a glimpse of pain in his tense expression but also an unconditional acceptance which hits him fully like a punch in his chest.

"Adrian." He murmurs and then, he can no longer control himself. He feels the tears making his vision even more blurring than it already has been without his glasses and he silently begins to cry, allowing himself this brief outburst of his feelings after all the hatred, the regrets and the desperation he has felt for the past months. A part of him knows what a pathetic sight he must be, how absurd it is to be like that when he is the one who's hurting Adrian, the one who is practically raping him...

A mouth reaches his own, in a brief contact which ends too soon. But the mouth goes immediately to trace the tears in a warm, consoling touch.

"Dan" Adrian's gentle fingers brushes his cheek "It's okay."

Again his chest constricts at Adrian's words and he would want to tell him it's not okay because he shouldn't be having violent sex with a man he was supposed to hate, nor should he find so much comfort in the hand that is stroking his face.

He can barely breathe through the anger and the guilt and the self loathing that are almost suffocating him. And yet, his body is still searching for pleasure and he can't even withdraw from Adrian and saving what little dignity he has left.

He expects a mocking comment, a sarcastic acknowledge of his weakness coming from Adrian but the billionaire doesn't move and is still looking at him without condemning him nor despising him.

Following Adrian's fingers, which slide from his face to grab his hips in a silent request, Dan begins to move again, careful not to hurt him, this time.

Adrian whimpers but it's not an hurtful sound since he immediately moves against him following his rhythm and hugging him.

For the first time, Dan reaches for his face without wanting to hurt him. He gingerly strokes his cheek, then he brushes his blonde hair. Adrian bares his neck, without averting his gaze, and Dan can already see the bruises there. He covers one with his lips, kissing it softly like an apology before he can stop himself. But soon, he isn't able to think anymore while he feels the pleasure growing at his every movement, silencing his rationality. He obeys the urge to move faster and faster, kissing Adrian when he feels the billionaire's mouth against his own. His rage is gone, overcome by his desire, by the need to touch and to be touched, to be engulfed in the warmth he didn't know he could miss so much.

Having someone hugging him, touching him, kissing him is a too wonderful sensation to not basking in it and he doesn't care that Adrian is the one he his holding on to.

For a moment, he's not alone anymore.

For a moment, he doesn't remember.

For a moment, it really is fine like this.

The pleasure explodes in his body, as intense as a flame and equally hot. He almost doesn't realize he has collapsed on top of the slim body of Adrian, while the billionaire is still hugging him. Dan needs a couple of seconds to recollect the strength to withdraw and to retreat on the free spot of the bed, without really meeting his gaze.

Adrian has come too, he doesn't know if because of the penetration alone or because the billionaire touched himself when Dan was too busy to separate his mind from the reality. Strangely, he feels less dirty knowing he wasn't the only one to have had an orgasm.

He is about to stand and to leave all of this situation behind before Adrian blames him for what has happened, when an iron grip on his elbow makes him lie again on the bed.

Dan closes his eyes, without turning to meet the billionaire's gaze he can feel on his back.

_He should have known it wouldn't be so easy._

He swallows while shame and bitterness oppresses his chest. Now Adrian's going to mock him, to scold him about his lacks with his condescending voice, just like he did in Karnak. Then, he feels Adrian's forehead resting against his back.

"You have never had the world's fate in your hand, Dan. Nor have you had Rorschach's. Believing otherwise it's just a self-destructive arrogance."

The light is turned off and everything is enveloped by a comfortable darkness – it's Nite Owl's habitat, a black balm capable of soothing his wounds and of silencing the indignant screams of his conscience.

Adrian shifts away from him, his breath against Dan's shoulder disappears, allowing him to calm down, while in his mind are resonating those unexpectedly comforting words.

Dan opens his eyes.

The jacket is so close to him he only needs to extend a hand to grab the knife.

_He's going to kill him. Maybe this is the reason Adrian wanted to meet him._

_He _has_ to kill him. Adrian deserves to die. He deserves it fifteen millions of times._

Dan closes his eyes again before the though of the knife disappears into the silence.

One day he will really kill Adrian but not now.

His excoriated knuckle are pulsating with an almost pleasing pain. His rage is gone, erased by a tiredness which is so intense it doesn't let him think. And there's another breath which joins his in the darkness.

For the first time in months, Nite Owl falls asleep in a dreamless slumber.

* * *

_There's a sequel to this story and I'm going to translate it starting from next week._  
_Thank you for reading._


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